Adulting is Like Folding a Fitted Sheet

 

 

Chasing Perfection, Adulting and Folding Fitted Sheets

Our culture can be so focused on perfection that we live in constant fear. Let’s look at what perfection is and what it is not. Maybe it is not what we think it is.

Not to long ago I saw a meme on adulting that said,

“Adulting is like folding a fitted sheet, no one knows how”

 

Like many clever memes and phrases what makes them so funny is that there is a ring of truth in them. I don’t know about you, but no one ever taught me how to fold a fitted sheet. As far as “adulting” goes I was given a few basics on cooking, cleaning, finances (A vague idea of how to balance a checkbook, although for years I struggled when it came to doing it), I think you get the picture. For those of you, like myself, who tend to be perfectionist, this can all be a bit scary. Just doing it isn’t enough we want to do it perfectly. It is a little like having a baby you wish it came with an instruction manual – you know because we always read the instructions.

 

Different Approaches

 

I am not going to tell you that adulting is easy. I also don’t have a fool proof way to adult or fold a fitted sheet. There are different approaches to both, and there is a balanced area somewhere between the two extremes. So, let’s just see if we can find a place of peace in our efforts, and joy in our journey without chasing perfection.

 

Folding a Fitted Sheet    

 

Interestingly enough, hotels don’t use fitted sheets, maybe they have found that teaching the maids to fold them is too much work and stress. And it is not surprising that we haven’t come up with a perfect and easy way to fold a fitted sheet as it was only invented in 1959, they haven’t been around long enough and the roll of mother and wife has changed drastically. Who has time to figure out how to fold it? Remember neither mine nor my mother’s generation had Google, so we couldn’t just look it up. We simply did the best we could or we didn’t even try.

 

I went most of my adult life not even worried that my fitted sheets were rolled up in the closet with the flat sheet, and pillow cases nicely folded up on top of it. It wasn’t until I was about 40 that someone told me it could be done; surprisingly, it really isn’t all that hard. Well, it’s not hard unless you want it to be perfect. It will never be perfect, although, it is better than being semi rolled up under the folded flat sheet.

 

There are different approaches, you can either not try and hide it under the folded sheets, and deal with the extra wrinkles. You can drive yourself crazy and spend a lot of time trying to make it perfect. Or you can give it a go, be happy that it didn’t take forever and it is better than rolled up in the closet. It’s finding a balance, of caring and giving it the effort, without driving yourself crazy with perfection.

 

Adulting

 

Much like folding a fitted sheet we have options on how we are going to approach life. We can obsess over being perfect, we can not try at all, or we can find a balance. There is however, one big difference, this is your life and I truly believe that you care about it more than to roll it up and put it in the closet under the nicely folded sheets.

 

Can we be okay with doing our best, learning, and taking time to enjoy? Only if we are willing to try without letting our tendency for chasing after perfection trip us up.

 

Adulting does take some effort, some planning, and putting down the idea of doing it perfectly. It also takes courage, courage to do your best even if you might fail. I’ll be honest, failure is most likely going to happen somewhere along the road. Failure doesn’t always have to be such a bad thing either, in my post “There’s No Success Like Failure”   I share some of my mother’s writings about how we can do more than learn from our mistakes, we can also grow in them and allow God to work in them molding us into who we were meant to be, if we are brave enough.

 

Let’s Talk About Perfection

 

Have you ever wondered about what our world, our life, would be like if we were all perfect? If there is just one set “perfect” of everything how boring would life be. Think about it if a rose is supposed to look just so and smell just this one perfect way, roses may have different colors but other than that they would all look and smell the same.

 

Have you noticed that the roses you buy in the store have few or no thorns? They have been genetically modifying them to have less and less thorns. However, in the process they have also less and less of the amazing aroma that make a rose so enjoyable. I think we are forgetting how wonderful a rose smells, in a couple generations, kids are going to be baffled by the saying, “take time to smell the roses” Trust me, next time you see roses in someone’s garden take a moment to smell it, then compare that to what is in the store. Now, that is proof that in perfection we loss beauty.

 

Is Perfection Beautiful   

 

I don’t think God sees “perfection” the same way we do. We have been so tainted, stained by the world, brainwashed even. Think about all that God made, and He said that it was good. Though each sunset is different they are all beautiful in their own way. Do you think that yesterday’s sunset is somehow competing with today’s sunset; Ridiculous, right?

Right! And so, the sunset simply is what God created it to be, and it is beautiful every day. The same it true of the plants and the flowers they just do what God created them to do, and it is beautiful and wonderful. Each tree, flower, mountain, stream, lake, ocean, and wave is different, special and beautiful in its own way.

 

Why do we humans think we have to be more than what God created us to be. Why do we think her teeth are perfect, I want teeth like Pam’s, and hair like Laura’s, I want to be as smart as Tom, tall and thin like that model?

So, why can’t I just be me and you just be you? It is a trick, that’s why! A trick of the devil, because our enemy doesn’t want us in relationship with God and he will do anything he can to keep us from thinking about God, or drawing closer to God. And when we are working to be what God created us to be, we become his enemy.

 

What Does the Bible Say about Beauty

 

 When the Bible speaks of beauty, particularly the beauty of a woman it speaks little of physical beauty and focuses more on the inner beauty. The emphasis is on who you are as a person. The Proverbs 31 woman is not given a description of her outer appearance, it only speaks of what she does for her family and her heart of service. Let’s take a quick look at what God says about beauty

 

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised”

Proverbs 31:30

 

“Worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness: fear before him, all the earth.”

Psalms 96:9

 

“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

1 Peter 3:3-4

 

What Does the Bible Say About “Perfection”

 

The Bible does have a lot to say about perfection, in fact, you will find it throughout the Old and New Testament. Here we will look at a few main points about perfection found in God’s Word.

 

The Desire for Perfection

 

God called Job perfect in Job 1:1 and still Job desired perfection

“If I justify myself, mine own mouth shall condemn me: if I say, I am perfect, it shall also prove me perverse.”

Job 9:20

 

David desired perfection and prayed to God for it often

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me”

Psalms 51:10

 

“I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.”

Psalms 101:2

 

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Psalms 139:23-24

 

Paul also desired perfection

“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:12-14

 

Worldly Desire or Biblical Desire

 

What is the difference of the desire for perfection of these men and your desire for perfection? I know that these men desired to have a perfect heart for the Lord not the perfect looks, perfect job, perfect house, or perfect life. In fact, James said,

 

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”

James 1:2-4

 

Now this is the kind of perfect the Bible mostly focuses on, “entire, wanting nothing” This says more about being complete than looking or being some specified way that is “perfect”. What James is saying is the polar opposite of what we want to hear about perfection. He is saying be joyful in the hardships because this is what works out perfection in you. God uses our hardships to make us perfect/complete. At least the kind of perfection that God is interested in.

 

Commands for Perfection

 

The Old Testament is in large part the law of the Lord, this is what He requires for perfection. So, yes the Bible contains commands for perfection. Jesus said,

 

“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”

Matthew 5:48

Paul said,

“Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.”

2 Corinthians 7:1

 

 

How to Be Perfect

 

We will also find help in the Bible as to how we are to be perfect.

“And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:”

Ephesians 4:11-12

 

Here Paul refers to all believers in Christ as saints. Then the perfecting of the saint (how to be perfect) is by associating with other saints, some are prophets, others are pastors and I believe all are teaches in some way. When we share our story of Jesus and what He has done in our lives we are teaching others of Jesus.

 

This verse in Ezekiel really jumped off the page at me,

“Thou wast perfect in thy ways from the day that thou wast created, till iniquity was found in thee.”

Ezekiel 28:15

 

We started as perfect, God created each of us perfectly, it is sin that has marred us, made us imperfect. So, it is sin that works to keep us in our sin and unrighteousness. The same sin that wants to keep us from the truth. Because sin doesn’t want us to be perfect.

I would very much like you to read that verse again! Now, say to yourself, out loud, “God created me perfectly.” Say it so you believe it.

 

Jesus’ Instruction for Perfection

 

“Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me”

Matthew 19:21

 

In other words, we need to let go of the treasures of this life, this world and cling to Jesus (pick up our cross) we need to live each day for the next life, not this life. I have come to see an analogy, honestly, I am not sure how long I will see it this way, but as it may help others, I will share it.

It seems to me that much of the process of sanctification is letting go of the things of this world, this life and grasping more and more to the things of God and eternity. Ever so slowly, painfully so, the things of this world and this life mean less while at the same time serving the Lord, being obedient and glorifying God are so much more important than at one point I could have imagined.

 

The Process

 

Let’s agree that perfection is a process, and most importantly it is about perfection of the heart, the things of the spirit, and not the things of the world.

 

However, when we have accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior, we were made perfect in the eyes of God. Remember the verse in Ezekiel, we were created perfect, until sin came along. But by the blood of Jesus we, who believe, are cleansed and made perfect again, in the eyes of God. We can rest in the perfection of Jesus and go on from there. God has also given us the Holy Spirit to guide us and lead us in working out our salvation to perfection, according to His will.

And as James said this is often done through our trials. This life is never going to be “perfect” because there is sin. One day Jesus will return and wipe out all sin and then we can live in perfect peace and harmony with the Lord.

 

Closing Summary

 

Think about it, maybe a fitted sheet was never intended to be folded up perfectly. Is it possible that the elastic around the corners represent the sin in this world? It is the sin and/or the elastic that keep perfection an arm’s length away. That doesn’t mean there is no purpose or use in folded a fitted sheet. Just as there is also a lot of good in my life, as I am sure there is in your life too. Sometimes it is just a matter of focus, look at the good things the blessings, and they will multiply.

It is important that we are open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit as He works to perfect us in this life. Let’s pray for a heart that desires Godly perfection rather than worldly perfection. And please, please, please, don’t forget that Satan is your enemy, don’t let him take your life and drown you in sin, guilt and shame. If you are struggling with this I have another post on how Satan uses past sin, forgiven sin, to keep us trapped and what you can do to get out of that trap, “Shame, Satan’s Ammunition”

 

Dear Reader,

I hope you believe me when I say that you are on my heart and in my prayers often. This particular post was very difficult and yet was very heavy on my heart. Very likely because I am learning these truths as I write. Truly, I come to the end of it with tears. Thank you so much for staying with me through the whole thing, I know it is a long one. I pray that God blesses you greatly. I would love to hear from you, please feel free to leave a comment below. Or you can use the contact me tab at the top of the page, for a more private conversation.

 

Grace and Peace,

Debra Jean

 

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